Evolution or creation? Whatever your poison, I'll be dishing it out as I cook it up. If you have a problem with someone questioning spirituality, turn away now (Or if you're Christian, turn the other cheek)! I will entertain anyone with a coherent and intelligent thought but know that the writings here are not intended to piss anyone off. So, please spare me any holier-than-thou sermons and don't hurl me any abuses. Keep your burning crosses and save your suicide bombs for someone who cares. These are my thoughts, thought out loud. Feel free to tune out anytime.
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    Tuesday, December 30, 2003
    048: Jesus vs Santa

    Looks like before the battle of Armageddon takes centrestage, Jesus has to do battle first with Santa Claus. Blogger Irene dropped me a mail since she can't access my comments. Apparently, parents and governments alike prefer Santa Claus to Jesus Christ! Do read my last post for context.

    Here are some cases, links courtesy of IreneQ. A primary school teacher in Australia bans a teacher for telling her class of 6-year olds that it NOT Santa who brings them their presents. Two similar stories are here and here!

    Good grief! Didn't we just hear about how New York schools are putting a ban on Nativity scenes? Didn't we just hear about the Alabama Chief Justice who got fired for erecting a sculpture of the 10 Commandments? Now tell me people, what is wrong with the picture here?!? What is the world coming to, when we reject the good values of the 10 Commandments, we reject the birth of the Messiah and yet we are so quick to embrace a fat guy who brings gifts? If you want to know where we're headed, take a long hard look at the world today. Or just flip through the newspapers.

    Here's something funny. Has anyone noticed that SANTA is the anagram for SATAN? Also, Santa Claus is sometimes called Saint Nicholas or Saint Nick. And Satan is also sometimes referred to as Old Nick. Heh! Chew on that, friends! Also, remember this; like the Christians say, Jesus is the reason for the season. If you say otherwise, you're just being silly.

    a freudian spit generated @ 3:16 pm | |

    Wednesday, December 24, 2003
    047: Christmas - Birth of Christ?

    Tomorrow is Christmas. For a lot of us, it will be a day to take a break from the daily grind. For others, it'll be a great excuse for partying, drinking, gift-giving and stuff. And for some, it's a celebration of the birth of Christ. Anyway, Christmas IS supposed to be the birth of Jesus. But most people acknowledge that this isn't exactly accurate. Blogger Viewtru has a nice post about this, generously sprinkled with his wit (or is it insanity? heh!) for our enjoyment. Which is why some Christians don't really buy into the commercialism of the season.

    I think it's safe to say that most Christians take this day to commemorate the birth of Christ. On Christmas day, God became man, to live among men and to finally receive the death sentence for mankind's sins. For a Christian, this is the greatest gift - given to them by God. And surely this is reason enough to celebrate and give thanks.

    Anyway, as usual, there will be a slew of Hollywood Christmas movies, which opens up a big can of worms for me. Santa Claus! Have you ever noticed how big a deal the Americans make of Santa Claus? So much so that it's almost sacrilegeous to tell American kids that there is NO Santa Claus. Nope, you gotta believe in Santa Claus! Never mind that you can't have prayers in their public school. Never mind that schools in New York city has put a ban on Nativity scenes. Just don't mess with Santa!

    In case you didn't know, the Nativity scene is the scene of the baby Jesus born in a manger. It's the scene of His birth. And Christmas is supposed to be his birth is it not? Nope, you can't display the scene of Jesus' birth on his birthday. But, don't you worry Virginia, there is a Santa Claus. American are weird. But hey, I'm just generalising. Not all yanks are crazy. :)

    What is the true meaning of Christmas? I suppose it's a time of thanksgiving. And giving to others as you have received. As I type this, Mariah Carey is singing "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" in my office. OK, Mariah sucks but the song is still one of my favourite Christmas tunes. And since I have just begun to feel Christmassy, I shall share a little of it with you:
    Hark! the herald angels sing,
    Glory to the newborn King;
    Peace on earth, and mercy mild,
    God and sinners reconciled."
    Joyful all ye nations, rise,
    Join the triumph of the skies;
    With th' angelic host proclaim,
    Christ is born in Bethlehem.
    Here's a line I really like, "God and sinners reconciled". I'm not exactly sure what it means but it's a nice thought.

    And for celebrating Christmas, some people question if it's really sacred since there's no way to proof that Jesus was born on 25th December. Still others say that Christmas is not biblical - Jesus never asked man to commemorate his birth. Personally I see nothing wrong. I think it's our nature to like celebrations. Some people celebrate Christmas. Some celebrate Maulud Nabi. It's nice to dedicate a day in your life to commemorate all the good that God has given you. We live in dire times. There's so much going on in the world. And there are days we forget how good our lives really are. It's not such a bad idea to take a pause from our daily grind and give thanks for all that we have.

    On that note, thank you for keeping me company on this blog, all those of you who have ever read my rantings and especially those of you who have left comments and sent mails. I appreciate you deeply. A lot of you have left me with impressions more profound than you'll ever know. May you have a blessed Christmas.

    a freudian spit generated @ 12:21 pm | |

    Wednesday, December 17, 2003
    046: Saddam KOs Jesus!

    Read in The Star today that Saddam knocks Jesus off the cover of Time Magazine. Couldn't find it on the online version, though. But there's a similar story right here.Anyway, 30% of Time's 4 million circulation had already been printed when the story of Saddam's capture, captured the world. So, in the interest of keeping up with the times (or for the sake of higher sales, who knows?), Time did a switcheroo. Incidentally, this is the first time a cover swap happened in mid-print since the last one in 1983!

    With that, the battle of Good and Evil takes place in the print presses. This time around, however, Evil dominates and Jesus is Saddamized on the face of Time. While this isn't exactly the battle of armageddon, the irony of it is quite disconcerting. Discomforting that such evil can exist amongst men. Now don't anybody come and tell me, "Hey, US is evil too!!!" I don't give a shit. All I can say is that the evil that Saddam has committed is simply too much evil for one man!

    Some muslims are especially sensitive when it comes to Saddam. Those are usually the precious few who think it's a great idea to name their kids Saddam or Osama. If you're one of those and you're pissed off at me - save it. Don't forget your wife's got Bush right between her legs!

    Anyway, the battle of armageddon is coming up soon and according to Christian and Muslim beliefs, Jesus Christ is expected to make an appearance. He'll take out evil, banish it to the eternal Lake of Fire at the basement level and close shop here on earth. So I suppose it's good to get ready. Remember that Jesus said to love your neighbours as you would love yourselves. And in case any of you wise asses out there get the wrong idea, masturbation is NOT equivalent to loving yourself.

    a freudian spit generated @ 4:48 pm | |

    Tuesday, December 16, 2003
    045: Jesus and the Persecution of Jews

    Okay kiddies, just recently we have learnt that Christians consider Jesus to be God himself. As for the Muslims, Jesus is a prophet of God and not the Big Man himself. And then there on the other extreme are the Jews - who'd really rather not have anything to do with Jesus! Today we shall learn why Jesus is a thorn in the side of the Jews and why their execution of Him continues to haunt them up to this day!

    If you didn't already know, according to the Bible, when Jesus came along to preach His message of salvation He was quickly rejected by the very people He came to save. Somehow, the Jewish rabbis and chieftains saw in Jesus a troublemaker. Imagine how preposterous it must be: A young carpenter going all round preaching the word of God like they were His own words. To make matters worse, at the height of His clerical career he had gained a few thousand followers - who went with him everywhere that he went. That must have been like a "Reformasi" gathering and we all know how scary that can be!

    Something had to be done. And before anyone can say, "There are no Weapons of Mass Destruction" the Jewish leaders quickly put together a plot to dispose of Jesus once and for all with their trumped up charges. Now, back then quite a bit of the Middle East was under the rule of the Roman Empire. So when the Jews went up to their Roman Governor to demand the death of Jesus, it also served the purpose of the Roman Empire's political agenda. After all, with over 10,000 followers, Jesus could easily have led a revolt against the Romans and chances are, He might have succeeded too! So Rome obliged and Jesus was crucified.

    And throughout their history, the Jews have had it quite bad. People hate the Jews. And people killed the Jews. Some say people hate Jews out of jealousy - because they were the "chosen people" of God. Other say it's because the Jews are quite successful, having a finger an every juicy slice of economy around the world. Then there are those who hate them for the Palestine thing. And let's not forget how some people can't stand the Jews because they "rule the world by proxy". And finally, yet another reason why some people are anti-semitic is simply because they believe that the Jews killed Jesus. To these people, the Jews commited deicide! Historians have listed 6 reasons why the Jews are so hated - and Deicide is one of these.

    Generally, Jews don't accept the 6 reason why they are being persecuted. Click here to learn more. They claim that these are not reasons but merely excuses. But I don't buy it. Surely we have all heard how the Jews have called Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion" an anti-semitic propaganda?

    If anyone hates the Jews for killing Jesus - I believe it isn't so much the act of the killing itself. Instead it is reason behind that senseless execution! Let's examine this a little: Jesus comes to save the Jews. He tells them to behave themselves and to stop being hypocrites. They are insulted and they get pissed off. So they kill Him under the charge of blasphemy - for claiming to be God. What exactly did Jesus do to deserve death? He came along, performed miracles, healed people and turned many people back to God. Was that so bad?

    Jesus was murdered (or attempted, according to the Quran) because of the Jew's "kiasuness". And people probably hate the Jews for the kiasuness. Just like how some Malaysians can't stand Singaporeans. Ahem. No excuses there. Just a damn good reason!!! Now don't anybody give me flak for the Singapore statement - I'm just saying it like it is. (Better stop here on this one. I could go on and on)

    I was gonna go into how the Jews deny Jesus divinity but I'm too damn lazy to write any further. Perhaps in the next post. In conclusion, can I just ask you to NOT hate the Jews. With all the persecution they faced (even before Anti-Zionism came about) I'm sure they have paid the price. As for Palestine the Jews there don't represent all Jews. Just like how Osama doesn't represent all Muslims. Forgive. Jesus would have wanted it that way. For that matter, forgive the Singaporeans too. Pity them a little. They have to resort to drinking shit these days.

    a freudian spit generated @ 5:36 pm | |

    Thursday, December 11, 2003
    044: I've Got Mail

    Hotmail is driving me crazy. It takes forever to load and I have to go through far too many steps just to read my mails. And if you're a Hotmail user, you would have noticed that lately the Hotmail guys have changed the interface. Now, I'm all for change. I am. But instead of improving anything, the new Hotmail is cumbersome and annoying, and that's as politely as I can put it. It stresses the hell out of me!

    So I've decided to go for Yahoo instead. With Yahoo, you can get 4MB of space. I don't really need that much but I appreciate their sincerity. I mean, dammit, if you're gonna do something good, you oughtta pull out the stops. And another thing; Yahoo's business policy has always been to stress on speed. That means quicker downloads and less steps. Yahoo isn't exactly eye-candy, but hey, it gets the job done.

    So the new email is freudianspit@yahoo.com. There! Now you can write me and know that as I open your mail to read, I will be in a calm, cool, and stress-free demeanor. That is, unless you sent me some Nigerian Get-Rich-Quick junk or tips on how to enlarge my... um... appendages! So remember, kiddies. Write me and I shall reply. Spam me and I will hunt you down, smack your butt and torch your security blanket.

    But don't let that discourage you from writing me. ;)

    a freudian spit generated @ 10:36 am | |

    Tuesday, December 09, 2003
    043: Jesus and the Salvation of Man

    It's been a week and still no one has come forth with their piece on Jesus. Looks like my cheap ploy to rest my lazy butt has failed miserably. Well, looks like I have no choice but to find my own stuff on Jesus Christ and put them up here for you to dissect! Hopefully, you'll oblige.

    Jesus Christ is pivotal to the Christian faith. In case you didn't know, the basis of Christianity is the believe that Jesus is the Son of God, who was born of the Virgin Mary to live among men - to save them. He is eventually crucified on the cross. He dies, then resurrects and ultimately goes home to Heaven. This is the Christian account of Christ. It is also true in the Christian faith that some day, Jesus will return. When that day happens, the shit will hit the fan for a whole lot of us. A few Christian friend I have asked have summarised Jesus' raison d'etre with just this passage from John 3:16 which basically explains how Jesus is the salvation of man:

    "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." - John 3:16
    I'll try to explain this the best I can. Basically when God created Adam and Eve he intended that mankind should have eternal life. Of course, thanks to Eve's prodding and poking (It's a woman thing, isn't it? I'm kidding!) Adam took a bite of the forbidden fruit thereby creating the first case of sin. Before you say "Why is eating a lousy fruit that big a deal that it is considered a sin?" let me clarify that sin in most religious context is simply to "disobey God's command". So there on that fateful day, God decreed that Adam and Eve and all their descendants must die for their sins. They also get kicked out from the garden paradise of Eden. Because these two goofballs can't obey a simple order, we're living in this shithole called Earth and we're doomed to die someday!

    Cut to a few thousand years later, mankind got from bad to worse and God decided he's gonna flush all of man down the toilet. So He got Noah to build an ark, and he flooded the earth, killing everybody and everything in it! But here, the Old Guy gets a change of heart and decides that He'll never again wreak such havoc on the earth cos it hurt Him even more than those he drowned. Kinda like how dad used to say, "This is gonna hurt me more than it's gonna hurt you!"
    "And I will establish my covenant with you; neither shall all flesh be cut off any more by the waters of a flood; neither shall there any more be a flood to destroy the earth." - Gen 9:11
    I suppose at that point, God started to soften a little. But a new problem has arised - He had already decreed to Adam and Eve that the punishment for sin is death! And since He's the Big Boss, anything He say goes - like an iron-clad contract. What kind of God would He be if His words could be reversed? So NO, man must die for his sins. And as long as man is guilty of sin, he cannot come home to paradise.

    But then, like any contract of any kind, there was a neat little loophole. God said that man must die for his sins, and so it shall be. Then, God gets himself incarnated as a man. And thus Jesus was conceived and born to the world. And at the appointed time, Jesus gets brutally crucified, thereby fulfilling the decree that man must die for his sins. And since the death of Jesus, man was given the opportunity to start anew - no records, no priors, none!

    To Open Air, whose last comment (in my last blog) got me digging for this info, this one ought to answer some of your queries. To the Christian, Jesus did not come to take away sins literally - sins will always exist. Instead, He came to take the punishment for sins. God said that man must die for sins and man did die indeed. In the form of Jesus.

    In conclusion, I suppose it's no real surprise why a lot of people are attracted to Christianity. The central message through all of this is Love. God gave man a second chance, out of love, no less. And by sacrificing his own Kid. I suppose that gives a lot of people a lot of hope, doesn't it?

    a freudian spit generated @ 6:30 pm | |

    Monday, December 01, 2003
    042: In Search of the Historical Jesus

    Jesus is one of the most pivotal characters in the big three religions. To the Jews, Jesus was a political upstart and a troublemaker. To the Muslims, Isa Al-Maseh was a great prophet who did miracles. To the Christians, Jesus was the son of God sent to the world to save mankind. Either way, Jesus Christ remains an important figure in the faiths of millions. Once upon a time, atheists have tried to disprove the existence of Jesus but today, many archaeologists, theologians, historians and anthropologists have come to the conclusion that Jesus did indeed exist over two millennia ago. The REAL questions remains if he is indeed who he supposedly claim to be - the Son of God!

    So, for the whole month of December, I am inviting you folks to offer your insights on Jesus; who he is, what he did, what he ate... you get the picture. As a guide, I will accept any articles on the "historicity" of Jesus. That means only only intellectual articles, as opposed to emotional ones. So please, don't submit a whole article on how "Jesus is soooo real in my life... blah blah blah". Other than that, you're free to write just about anything, as long as it's respectful. I don't wanna hear how some groups are "so stupid to believe in the things they believe". Instead, do give me commentaries, opinions, proof or research - and of course, where you stand on this Jesus issue. Here are some suggestions:

    Did Jesus have a relationship with Mary Magdalene? Were they married? Is there any truth is the legends of the Holy Grail which historians believe may have been the drinking cup of Jesus at the last supper? Is the Shroud of Turin for real or was it in fact a hoax perpetrated by Leonardo Da Vincci? Did Jesus die on the cross as claimed by the Christians or was he replaced by someone else, as claimed by the Muslims? Do Muslims believe that Jesus is coming back on Judgement Day to tutup kedai? If so, why Jesus and not Muhammad? Why did medieval England use the Unicorn to symbolise Jesus? Was the execution of Jesus politically motivated?

    So, whether you are an ulama, pastor, priest, conspiracy-theorist, skeptic, historian, theologian, etc, I would love to hear from you. If you have an article to contribute, write me at freudianspit@yahoo.com. I will give you full credit if you so desire. You can also give me the email address of your preacher or uztaz and I'll be happy to invite them to give their piece.

    Jesus, anyone?

    a freudian spit generated @ 1:53 am | |